Don't Lick the Minivan

Don't Lick the Minivan
Author: Leanne Shirtliffe
Publisher: Skyhorse
Total Pages: 304
Release: 2015-11-03
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 1634509250

As a woman used to traveling and living the high life in Bangkok, Leanne Shirtliffe recognized the constant fodder for humor while pregnant with twins in Asia’s sin city. But in spite of deep-fried bug cuisine and nurses who cover newborn bassinets with plastic wrap, Shirtliffe manages to keep her babies alive for a year with help from a Coca-Cola deliveryman, several waitresses, and a bra factory. Then she and her husband return home to the isolation of North American suburbia. In Don’t Lick the Minivan, Shirtliffe captures the bizarre aspects of parenting in her edgy, honest voice. She explores the hazards of everyday life with children such as: The birthday party where neighborhood kids took home skin rashes from the second-hand face paint she applied. The time she discovered her twins carving their names into her minivan’s paint with rocks. The funeral she officiated for “Stripper Barbie.” The horror of glitter. And much more! Shirtliffe eventually realizes that even if she can’t teach her kids how to tie their shoelaces, she’s a good enough mom. At least good enough to start saving for her twins’ therapy fund. And possibly her own. Shirtliffe’s memoir might not replace a therapist, but it is a lot cheaper.

You Are a Dog

You Are a Dog
Author: Terry Bain
Publisher: Crown
Total Pages: 162
Release: 2010-04-14
Genre: Pets
ISBN: 0307549933

A hilarious, captivating commentary that gives us--finally--a true dog’s-eye view of the world. • The Sofa: “The sofa is Position One. The sofa makes you feel as if you are with your people even when your people are gone.” • The Toilet: “The advantage of drinking from the toilet is that the water is always fresh.” • The Baby: “Often known as She Who Randomly Flings Food from the Table, the baby has the most flavorful, ever-changing face of all your people.” “After reading You Are a Dog, you will start thinking like a dog.” --Bash Dibra, celebrity pet trainer and author of DogSpeak “You Are a Dog should be the talk of every dog run in the U.S. With humor, and more bite than one might expect, Terry Bain helps us to see the world through the eyes of our dogs, and to look at their lives in fresh and insightful ways.” --Jon Katz, author of A Dog Year, The New Work of Dogs, and The Dogs of Bedlam Farm “Terry Bain has cracked the canine code to demystify those charming, endearing, and occasionally bizarre habits our beloved dogs exhibit. You Are a Dog is equal parts witty and warm, sweet and sympathetic--read this and be destined to meet your dog at a richer, deeper level.”--Dr. Marty Becker, veterinary contributor for Good Morning America, author of The Healing Power of Pets

Someone Could Get Hurt

Someone Could Get Hurt
Author: Drew Magary
Publisher: Avery
Total Pages: 258
Release: 2014-05-06
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
ISBN: 1592408761

A sharp, funny, and heartfelt memoir from the author of The Night the Lights Went Out, The Hike, and The Postmortal about fatherhood and the ups and downs of raising a family in modern America No one writes about family quite like Drew Magary. In Someone Could Get Hurt, he reflects on his own parenting experiences to explore the anxiety, rationalizations, compromises, and overpowering love that come with raising children. In brutally honest and funny stories, Magary reveals how American mothers and fathers cope with being in over their heads—from getting drunk while trick-or-treating and telling dirty jokes to make bath time go smoothly to committing petty vandalism to bond with a five-year-old. Someone Could Get Hurt offers a hilarious and heartfelt look at child rearing with a glimpse into the genuine love and compassion that accompany the missteps and flawed logic. It’s the story of head lice, almost-dirty words, flat head syndrome, and a man trying to commit the ultimate act of selflessness in a selfish world.

Sloth to the Rescue

Sloth to the Rescue
Author: Leanne Shirtliffe
Publisher: Running Press Kids
Total Pages: 35
Release: 2019-10-15
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 0762463341

Sloth and friends teach kids how to combat first-day-of-school shyness in this humorous and heartfelt picture book. At the Rainforest Rescue Center, Sloth loves when Patti comes to visit. But when Patti forgets her class report, it's up to Sloth, with the help of his other (faster) rain-forest friends, to return Patti's notebook to her-at school! Will they be able to find her among all the other kids in a new environment? The first day of school can be scary-especially if you forget your summer assignment-but in Sloth to the Rescue,Sloth, Peccary, Boa, Capuchin, and Ocelot overcome their fears and realize that what makes them unique is what helps them fit right in!

Not After Everything

Not After Everything
Author: Michelle Levy
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 254
Release: 2015-08-04
Genre: Young Adult Fiction
ISBN: 0698162811

Fans of Eleanor and Park, The Spectacular Now, Willow, and Perfectly Good White Boy won't be able to put down this gritty but hopeful love story about two struggling teens. Tyler has a football scholarship to Stanford, a hot girlfriend, and a reliable army of friends to party with. Then his mom kills herself. And Tyler lets it all go. Now he needs to dodge what his dad is offering (verbal tirades and abuse) and earn what his dad isn’t (money): He needs a job. It’s there that he reunites with Jordyn, his childhood best friend, and now the token goth girl at school. Jordyn brings Tyler an unexpected peace and, finally, love. But with his family in shambles, he can’t risk bringing Jordyn too deeply into his life. So when violence rocks Tyler’s world again, will it be Jordyn who shows him the way to a hopeful future? Or after everything, will Tyler have to find it in himself? This tough, realistic page-turner reveals a boy's point of view on loss and love—perfect for fans of Rainbow Rowell, Tim Tharp, Julia Hoban, Carrie Mesrobian, and Mindi Scott.

Jeneration X

Jeneration X
Author: Jen Lancaster
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 328
Release: 2012-05-01
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
ISBN: 110158520X

In Such a Pretty Fat, Jen Lancaster learned how to come to terms with her body. In My Fair Lazy, she expanded her mind. Now the New York Times bestselling author gives herself—and her generation—a kick in the X, by facing her greatest challenge to date: acting her age. Jen is finally ready to put away childish things (except her Barbie Styling Head, of course) and embrace the investment-making, mortgage-carrying, life-insurance-having adult she’s become. From getting a mammogram to volunteering at a halfway house, she tackles the grown-up activities she’s resisted for years, and with each rite of passage she completes, she’ll uncover a valuable—and probably humiliating—life lesson that will ease her path to full-fledged, if reluctant, adulthood.

Social Intercourse

Social Intercourse
Author: Greg Howard
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 280
Release: 2018-06-05
Genre: Young Adult Fiction
ISBN: 1481497839

“A funny and satisfying love story [that] challenges simplistic preconceptions.” —Publishers Weekly Beckett Gaines, a gay teen living in South Carolina, has his world turned upside-down by a jock in this laugh-out-loud novel that’s Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda meets The Parent Trap. Beck: The Golden Girls-loving, out-and-proud choir nerd growing up in the “ass-crack of the Bible belt.” Jax: The Golden Boy, star quarterback with a slick veneer facing uncomfortable truths about himself and his past. When Beck’s emotionally fragile dad starts dating the recently single (and supposedly lesbian) mom of former bully Jaxon Parker, Beck is not having it. Jax isn’t happy about the situation either, holding out hope that his moms will reunite and restore the only stable home he’s ever known. Putting aside past differences, the boys plot to derail the budding romance between their parents at their conservative hometown’s first-ever Rainbow Prom. Hearts will be broken, new romance will bloom, but nothing will go down the way Beck and Jax have planned. In his hilarious and provocative debut, Greg Howard examines the challenges of growing up different in a small southern town through the lens of colorful and unforgettable characters who stay with you long after the last drop of sweet tea.

The Puppy Diaries

The Puppy Diaries
Author: Jill Abramson
Publisher: Macmillan
Total Pages: 255
Release: 2011-10-11
Genre: Pets
ISBN: 1429996927

An instructive and marvelously entertaining chronicle of a puppy's first year, by the executive editor of The New York Times One sparkling summer day, Jill Abramson brought home a nine-week-old golden retriever named Scout. Over the following year, as she and her husband raised their adorable new puppy, Abramson wrote a hugely popular column for The New York Times's website about the joys and challenges of training this rambunctious addition to their family. Dog-lovers from across the country inundated her with e-mails and letters, and the photos they sent in of their own dogs became the most visited photo album on the Times's site in 2009. Now Abramson has gone far beyond the material in her column and written a detailed and deeply personal account of Scout's first year. Part memoir, part manual, part investigative report, The Puppy Diaries continues Abramson's intrepid reporting on all things canine. Along the way, she weighs in on such issues as breeders or shelters, adoption or rescue, raw diet or vegan, pack-leader gurus like Cesar Millan or positive-reinforcement advocates like Karen Pryor. What should you expect when a new puppy enters your life? With utterly winning stories and a wealth of practical information, The Puppy Diaries provides an essential road map for navigating the first year of your dog's life.