The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples

The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples
Author: John M. Gottman
Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company
Total Pages: 667
Release: 2011-05-09
Genre: Psychology
ISBN: 0393707407

An eminent therapist explains what makes couples compatible and how to sustain a happy marriage. For the past thirty-five years, John Gottman’s research has been internationally recognized for its unprecedented ability to precisely measure interactive processes in couples and to predict the long-term success or failure of relationships. In this groundbreaking book, he presents a new approach to understanding and changing couples: a fundamental social skill called “emotional attunement,” which describes a couple’s ability to fully process and move on from negative emotional events, ultimately creating a stronger relationship. Gottman draws from this longitudinal research and theory to show how emotional attunement can downregulate negative affect, help couples focus on positive traits and memories, and even help prevent domestic violence. He offers a detailed intervention devised to cultivate attunement, thereby helping couples connect, respect, and show affection. Emotional attunement is extended to tackle the subjects of flooding, the story we tell ourselves about our relationship, conflict, personality, changing relationships, and gender. Gottman also explains how to create emotional attunement when it is missing, to lay a foundation that will carry the relationship through difficult times. Gottman encourages couples to cultivate attunement through awareness, tolerance, understanding, non-defensive listening, and empathy. These qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that despite the inevitable struggles, the relationship is enduring and resilient. This book, an essential follow-up to his 1999 The Marriage Clinic, offers therapists, students, and researchers detailed intervention for working with couples, and offers couples a roadmap to a stronger future together.

The Science of Trust

The Science of Trust
Author: John M. Gottman
Publisher: National Geographic Books
Total Pages: 0
Release: 2011-04-19
Genre: Psychology
ISBN: 0393705951

An eminent therapist explains what makes couples compatible and how to sustain a happy marriage. For the past thirty-five years, John Gottman’s research has been internationally recognized for its unprecedented ability to precisely measure interactive processes in couples and to predict the long-term success or failure of relationships. In this groundbreaking book, he presents a new approach to understanding and changing couples: a fundamental social skill called “emotional attunement,” which describes a couple’s ability to fully process and move on from negative emotional events, ultimately creating a stronger relationship. Gottman draws from this longitudinal research and theory to show how emotional attunement can downregulate negative affect, help couples focus on positive traits and memories, and even help prevent domestic violence. He offers a detailed intervention devised to cultivate attunement, thereby helping couples connect, respect, and show affection. Emotional attunement is extended to tackle the subjects of flooding, the story we tell ourselves about our relationship, conflict, personality, changing relationships, and gender. Gottman also explains how to create emotional attunement when it is missing, to lay a foundation that will carry the relationship through difficult times. Gottman encourages couples to cultivate attunement through awareness, tolerance, understanding, non-defensive listening, and empathy. These qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that despite the inevitable struggles, the relationship is enduring and resilient. This book, an essential follow-up to his 1999 The Marriage Clinic, offers therapists, students, and researchers detailed intervention for working with couples, and offers couples a roadmap to a stronger future together.

What Makes Love Last?

What Makes Love Last?
Author: John Gottman
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 304
Release: 2013-09-10
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 1451608489

"One of the foremost relationship experts at work today offers creative insight on building trust and avoiding betrayal, helping readers to decode the mysteries of healthy love and relationships"--

Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage

Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage
Author: John Gottman, PhD
Publisher: Harmony
Total Pages: 290
Release: 2007-06-26
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 1400050197

In Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, marital psychologists John and Julie Gottman provide vital tools—scientifically based and empirically verified—that you can use to regain affection and romance lost through years of ineffective communication. In 1994, Dr. John Gottman and his colleagues at the University of Washington made a startling announcement: Through scientific observation and mathematical analysis, they could predict—with more than 90 percent accuracy—whether a marriage would succeed or fail. The only thing they did not yet know was how to turn a failing marriage into a successful one, so Gottman teamed up with his clinical psychologist wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, to develop intervention methods. Now the Gottmans, together with the Love Lab research facility, have put these ideas into practice. What emerged from the Gottmans’ collaboration and decades of research is a body of advice that’s based on two surprisingly simple truths: Happily married couples behave like good friends, and they handle their conflicts in gentle, positive ways. The authors offer an intimate look at ten couples who have learned to work through potentially destructive problems—extramarital affairs, workaholism, parenthood adjustments, serious illnesses, lack of intimacy—and examine what they’ve done to improve communication and get their marriages back on track. Hundreds of thousands have seen their relationships improve thanks to the Gottmans’ work. Whether you want to make a strong relationship more fulfilling or rescue one that’s headed for disaster, Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage is essential reading.

Meta-Emotion

Meta-Emotion
Author: John Mordechai Gottman
Publisher: Routledge
Total Pages: 376
Release: 2013-02-01
Genre: Psychology
ISBN: 1134795971

This book describes research on the emotional communication between parents and children and its effect on the children's emotional development. Inspired by the work, and dedicated to the memory of Dr. Haim Ginott, it presents the results of initial exploratory work with meta-emotion--feelings about feelings. The initial study of meta-emotion generated some theory and made it possible to propose a research agenda. Clearly replication is necessary, and experiments are needed to test the path analytic models which have been developed from the authors' correlational data. The authors hope that other researchers will find these ideas interesting and stimulating, and will inspire investigation in this exciting new area of a family's emotional life.

Extinguish Burnout

Extinguish Burnout
Author: Robert Bogue
Publisher:
Total Pages: 0
Release: 2019
Genre: Business & Economics
ISBN: 9781586446345

An authoritative and relevant guide that provides practical advice for how to avoid and recover from burnout and embark on the pathway to thriving. Trapped. Stuck. Helpless. These are the words that people experiencing burnout use to describe their lives, but they don't have to. The words used after extinguishing burnout are hopeful, thriving, flourishing, and powerful. Nearly everyone has experienced burnout. Some have escaped burnout's grips, but at what cost, and after how long? When we find ourselves succumbing to the pressures of today that move us towards burnout, we need a clear path to get out and avoid it in the future. That's what Rob and Terri Bogue have put together - a clear path out of burnout. In the book, you'll learn: - What causes burnout and how to escape - How to more realistically value the results you're getting - When to ask for and receive more support - What four simple physical self-care activities reduce burnout - How to change your self-talk for the better - What to do to manage your demands so you're not so exhausted - How to better recognize your personal value - How to integrate your self-image and reduce your stress - How to identify and eliminate barriers to your efficacy - How to build resilience against setbacks - Why hope is essential - Why failure isn't final - How to be detached without being disengaged Rob and Terri convert abstract concepts into tangible activities that you can do to escape burnout. They convert nearly incomprehensible research into practical steps anyone can take. Intentionally short chapters can be read in only a few minutes, so you don't have to commit to a long book or chapter to start feeling better. "If you need to read one book about well-being, this is absolutely it." - Sharlyn Lauby, Author of HR Bartender

The Man's Guide to Women

The Man's Guide to Women
Author: John Gottman
Publisher: Rodale Books
Total Pages: 226
Release: 2016-02-02
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 1623361850

Results from world-renowned relationship expert John Gottman’s famous Love Lab have proven an incredible truth: Men make or break relationships. Based on 40 years of research, The Man’s Guide to Women unlocks the mystery of how to attract, satisfy, and succeed with a woman for a lifetime. For the first time ever, there is a science-based answer to the age-old question: What do women really want in a man? Dr. Gottman, author of the New York Times bestseller The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, and his wife and collaborator, clinical psychologist Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD, have pored over the research along with bestselling coauthors Douglas Abrams and Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD. Together, they have written this definitive guide for men, providing answers on everything from how to approach a woman and build a connection with her to how to truly satisfy her in bed and know when the relationship is on the right track. The Man’s Guide to Women is a must-have playbook for how to play—and win—the game of love.

Principia Amoris

Principia Amoris
Author: John Mordechai Gottman
Publisher: Routledge
Total Pages: 457
Release: 2014-10-10
Genre: Psychology
ISBN: 1136175652

Stereotypically, science and emotion are diametric opposites: one is cold and unfeeling, the other soft and nebulous; one is based on proven facts while the other is based on inexplicable feelings and “never the twain shall meet,” until now. John Gottman delves into the unquantifiable realm of love, armed with science and logic, and emerges with the knowledge that relationships can be not only understood, but also predicted as well. Based on research done at his Love Lab and other laboratories, Gottman has discovered that the future of love relationships can be predicted with a startling 91% success rate. These predictions can help couples to prevent disasters in their relationships, recognize the signs of a promising relationship, and perhaps more importantly, recognize the signs of a doomed one. Principia Amoris also introduces Love Equations, a mathematical modeling of relationships that helps understand predictions. Love Equations are powerful tools that can prevent relationship distress and heal ailing relationships. Readers learn about the various research and studies that were done to discover the science behind love, and are treated to a history of the people, ideas, and events that shaped our current understanding. They also learn about: • The “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” • 45 natural principles of love • 5 couple types • 5 recipes for good relationships • And much more! Just as science helped us to understand the physical world, it is helping us to understand the emotional world as well. Using the insights in this book, mental health professionals can meaningfully help their distressed clients, as well as better understand why a relationship is failing or succeeding. Appropriate for the curious non-mental health professional as well, Principia Amoris is a must-have on any bookshelf!

10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology)

10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology)
Author: Julie Schwartz Gottman
Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company
Total Pages: 265
Release: 2015-10-26
Genre: Psychology
ISBN: 0393710505

From the country’s leading couple therapist duo, a practical guide to what makes it all work. In 10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy, two of the world’s leading couple researchers and therapists give readers an inside tour of what goes on inside the consulting rooms of their practice. They have been doing couples work for decades and still find it challenging and full of learning experiences. This book distills the knowledge they've gained over their years of practice into ten principles at the core of good couples work. Each principle is illustrated with a clinically compiled case plus personal side-notes and storytelling. Topics addressed include: • You know that you need to “treat the relationship,” but how are you supposed to get at something as elusive as “a relationship”? • How do you empathize with both clients if they have opposite points of view? Later on, if they end up separating does that mean you’ve failed? Are you only successful if you keep couples together? • Compared to an individual client, a relationship is an entirely different animal. What should you do first? What should you look for? What questions should you ask? If clients give different answers, who should you believe? • What are you supposed to do with all the emotional and personal history that your clients stir up in you? • How can you make your work research-based? No one who works with couples will want to be without the insight, guidance, and strategies offered in this book.