Author | : Matthew Swanson |
Publisher | : Macmillan |
Total Pages | : 44 |
Release | : 2016-07-19 |
Genre | : Juvenile Fiction |
ISBN | : 1250080576 |
"A big sister becomes convinced her new baby brother is ruining everything"--
Author | : Matthew Swanson |
Publisher | : Macmillan |
Total Pages | : 44 |
Release | : 2016-07-19 |
Genre | : Juvenile Fiction |
ISBN | : 1250080576 |
"A big sister becomes convinced her new baby brother is ruining everything"--
Author | : Matthew Swanson |
Publisher | : Imprint |
Total Pages | : 40 |
Release | : 2016-07-19 |
Genre | : Juvenile Fiction |
ISBN | : 1250085977 |
Meet the baby who ruins everything, and the big sister who learns to love him. Together, they make this laugh out loud picture book the perfect gift for new siblings and baby showers! The baby can't stand on one foot. He can't throw a Frisbee. And he can't whistle! Even big-head Benny Hogarth can whistle, and he already lost his front teeth! So says a spunky little girl who thinks her new baby brother is ruining EVERYTHING: wrecking her room, drooling all over her toys, and throwing a wrench in her birthday party plans. But when she opens her heart, this big sister realizes she might be the real problem-the baby's just a baby, after all. Maybe all he needs is a better big sister. Tall kids, small kids, and parents alike will laugh through this funny and sweet tale of learning how wonderful-and lucky-it is to have a new sibling. An Imprint book
Author | : Mary McHugh |
Publisher | : Andrews McMeel Publishing |
Total Pages | : 150 |
Release | : 2004 |
Genre | : Humor |
ISBN | : 9780740747083 |
Men may be from Mars and women from Venus, but the alien known as teenager comes from a place way beyond those two. What else would account for that incredible transformation from loving child to the hostile creature who wants zilch to do with dear old Mom and Dad? How to Ruin Your Children's Lives is a survival manual for enduring this transmutation and-with a little luck-maintaining enough sanity to one day hear those longed-for words, Hey, I guess you weren't so stupid after all.Purple hair? Belly rings? Bizarre musical tastes? Not a problem as long as readers have How to Ruin Your Children's Lives' nearly 300 tips and tactics close at hand. With resident teenagers slamming doors and screaming at the top of their lungs, Mom! You're ruining my life! parents should at least make certain they're handling the job with aplomb.Consider these tips: o Call them at their friend's house to ask if they want lasagna for dinner.o Ask them about girlfriends (or boyfriends) in front of relatives.o Tell them about the time you streaked when you were in college.o Sing old Beatles songs when their friends are in the car.o Dress like Christina Aguilera.Author Mary McHugh is right on target. She shows parents how to match attitude with attitude and how to carry on whether the teen-parent subject is sex, using the family car, grades, or curfews. This book's perfect for any parent in the trenches and for empty nesters trying to stem their tears.
Author | : Tom James |
Publisher | : Independently Published |
Total Pages | : 100 |
Release | : 2020-02-06 |
Genre | : |
ISBN | : 9781712629970 |
"The funniest book of the year" Are you sick of a society that seems obsessed with children? Do you find modern parents insufferable? Your Children Are Boring is a uniquely humorous look at our culture's obsession with children, a world where virtually every advert has a squawking child in it, where pubs are full of wailing infants, and where every other Facebook post is tagged #ProudDad. Why do parents themselves behave like infants? Why having a child doesn't make you less selfish, why it's extremely unlikely that your child is in fact, 'special', and why modern parenting is ruining everything, not least the kids themselves. All the answers lie within, and it's your duty to read it. Yes, Your Children Are Boring will make you laugh, but it's much more than that. Once consumed you must take its teachings into the world and fix society. Or something. Oh and if you put 'Dad' or 'Mum' in your social media bios, this book is aimed at you. An excerpt from Your Children Are Boring: "There are more radical solutions available to us of course. I take my lead from the way we've societally turned smokers into pariahs at pubs. Let's create family areas in the pubs! Imagine, roped off areas out the back, covered in sick, where the tables are made of plastic rather than wood, soundproofed so we don't have to listen to you loudly slow-talking, or the baby crying. Or you could just go to McDonalds, which is where the kids want to be anyway. And that's another thing; does anyone think these kids want to go to a pub? They're not renowned for their rides and pits of plastic balls. But perhaps that's just a matter of time. We'll inevitably infantilise getting smashed like we seem intent on doing to everything else. You want it all don't you, your spoilt little brain thinks, 'I've had a child, but that doesn't mean I should modify my life. I still want pub, so baby come to pub!' Kids should be, and probably are, bored out of their tiny minds at pubs. It's where grown-ups go to bitch about their friends' new kitchen or boyfriend / girlfriend, not a playground, that's why they're full of glass, fruit machines and sharp edges. If we can be a little melodramatic though, you're a virus. You're ruining pubs like you ruined football and the cinema, colonising it like the most boring invading army in history armed with iPhones and Kleenex."
Author | : Matthew Swanson |
Publisher | : Macmillan |
Total Pages | : 50 |
Release | : 2017-02-07 |
Genre | : Juvenile Fiction |
ISBN | : 1250087953 |
"A book for all ages about noticing the wonder and beauty in the world both near and far"--
Author | : Matthew Swanson |
Publisher | : |
Total Pages | : 338 |
Release | : 2017-11-07 |
Genre | : Juvenile Fiction |
ISBN | : 1250098521 |
Elementary school detective Moxie McCoy looks for a missing school mascot and a new best friend, with the help of her annoying little brother.
Author | : Matthew Swanson |
Publisher | : Imprint |
Total Pages | : 171 |
Release | : 2018-11-06 |
Genre | : Juvenile Fiction |
ISBN | : 125023249X |
The sequel to the critically acclaimed The Real McCoys! When a baffling mystery strikes Tiddlywhump Elementary, sibling detectives and absolute opposites Moxie and Milton McCoy are on the case. She's the doer. He's the thinker. She's the heart. He's her heartburn. Moxie's friend Emily has received a suspicious letter signed with nothing but a sinister purple squiggle. Then more letters arrive—along with more questions. Who sent them? What do they mean? Is the world on the brink of collapse? Milton and Moxie are the perfect problem-solving team...if only they could get along.When their partnership falls apart, Moxie races to identify the mysterious Squiggler first—while learning the hard way that two McCoys really are better than one. With energetic illustrations on every page, Matthew Swanson and Robbi Behr's Two's a Crowd is a vivaciously funny and irresistibly heartfelt mystery for young readers. An Imprint Book "A marvelous standalone sequel that will inspire random acts of kindness." —School Library Journal, starred review "An outstanding, truly unique reading experience." —Booklist Praise for The Real McCoys: "Readers will breeze through this ingenious combination of text and art, eager for Moxie and Milton’s next case." —School Library Journal, starred review "Swanson’s witty text is enhanced exponentially by Behr’s bold, original artwork to create a uniquely told whodunit with wide appeal ... An exceptional book." —Booklist, starred review "Delightfully topsy-turvy...readers will hope to see more of both siblings soon." —Publishers Weekly, starred review "An exceptional middle-grade read packed with giggles for young sleuths who love to explore a little off the beaten path." —Kirkus Reviews “An ingenious new series...an innovative reading experience that surprises and delights. Wordplay, witty descriptions and visual jokes abound.” —The Washington Post "Swanson and Behr have created a gem with this hilarious elementary-level read with graphic novel tendencies." —The Bulletin of the Center for Children's Books "This clever, funny, delightful book is just what this crazy world needs. The surprising and inventive interaction between text and illustration shows that two brains are, indeed, better than one--especially when they belong to Matthew Swanson and Robbi Behr." —Andrea Beaty, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Ada Twist Scientist A Junior Library Guild Selection
Author | : Matthew Swanson |
Publisher | : Imprint |
Total Pages | : 27 |
Release | : 2021-04-20 |
Genre | : Juvenile Fiction |
ISBN | : 1250793440 |
Sunrise Summer is a picture book by writer Matthew Swanson and illustrator Robbi Behr that celebrates self-confidence and empowerment, as a girl’s role changes in her family’s fishing expeditions. When a girl and her family travel four thousand miles from home, it’s not your typical summer vacation. Everything is different on the Alaskan tundra—where the grizzly bears roam and the sockeye salmon swim—including the rules. A girl can do things she wouldn’t, and couldn’t, do at home. She can wake up at midnight to work with her mom on a fishing crew. She can learn what it means to be an essential part of a team. She can become a braver, stronger, and ever-more capable version of herself. She can take her next big step. She’s ready for her first real sunrise. An Imprint Book
Author | : Amy Pixton |
Publisher | : Workman Publishing |
Total Pages | : 12 |
Release | : 2018-04-03 |
Genre | : Juvenile Nonfiction |
ISBN | : 152350207X |
Books babies can really sink their gums into! INDESTRUCTIBLES are built for the way babies "read": with their hands and mouths. INDESTRUCTIBLES won't rip or tear and are 100% washable. They're made for baby to hold, grab, chew, pull, and bend. What green vegetable looks like a tree? Broccoli! Can you find a fruit that's small and yellow? Lemon! Can you pick out two berries so red and sweet? Raspberry and strawberry! Explore a rainbow of delicious foods in a book that's INDESTRUCTIBLE. Also available in bilingual English-Spanish.