I Am About to Lick Your Human

I Am About to Lick Your Human
Author: Kate Pullen
Publisher: Hardie Grant
Total Pages: 128
Release: 2020-04-21
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 9781743795811

A book that celebrates how great—and gross—dogs can be. Do you take your dog to parties so that you know you'll have someone to hang out with? Does your dog eat better than you do? Do you have a doggy daycare report card stuck to your fridge? Do you regularly remove various disgusting things from your dog's mouth and hardly wince? Then this book is for you! I Am About to Lick Your Human is a hilarious collection of doggo sentiments and situations paired with fun and playful illustrations. It includes a catalogue of all the things you'll pull out of your dog's mouth, confessions of a dog lover, and a checklist for the soon-to-be dog owner (number one: no aversion to bodily fluids). This is the ultimate gift for canine lovers that celebrates all that is good (and bad) about dog ownership.

You Are a Dog

You Are a Dog
Author: Terry Bain
Publisher: Crown
Total Pages: 162
Release: 2010-04-14
Genre: Pets
ISBN: 0307549933

A hilarious, captivating commentary that gives us--finally--a true dog’s-eye view of the world. • The Sofa: “The sofa is Position One. The sofa makes you feel as if you are with your people even when your people are gone.” • The Toilet: “The advantage of drinking from the toilet is that the water is always fresh.” • The Baby: “Often known as She Who Randomly Flings Food from the Table, the baby has the most flavorful, ever-changing face of all your people.” “After reading You Are a Dog, you will start thinking like a dog.” --Bash Dibra, celebrity pet trainer and author of DogSpeak “You Are a Dog should be the talk of every dog run in the U.S. With humor, and more bite than one might expect, Terry Bain helps us to see the world through the eyes of our dogs, and to look at their lives in fresh and insightful ways.” --Jon Katz, author of A Dog Year, The New Work of Dogs, and The Dogs of Bedlam Farm “Terry Bain has cracked the canine code to demystify those charming, endearing, and occasionally bizarre habits our beloved dogs exhibit. You Are a Dog is equal parts witty and warm, sweet and sympathetic--read this and be destined to meet your dog at a richer, deeper level.”--Dr. Marty Becker, veterinary contributor for Good Morning America, author of The Healing Power of Pets

What I Lick Before Your Face ... and Other Haikus By Dogs

What I Lick Before Your Face ... and Other Haikus By Dogs
Author: Jamie Coleman
Publisher: Random House
Total Pages: 130
Release: 2018-11-01
Genre: Poetry
ISBN: 1473563623

You may take my balls But I will lick what remains And then, dear, your face Imagine if your dog could talk to you. Better still, imagine if it could express its innermost feelings in poetic form. This hilarious, insightful book confirms what we've all long suspected - that inside every dog is the soul of a poet. From retrieving sticks to rivalry with cats; from cold winter walks to endlessly chasing tennis balls, no stone of a dog's life is left unturned. With a delightful photo alongside every haiku, this is the perfect gift for any dog lover.

Don't Lick the Minivan

Don't Lick the Minivan
Author: Leanne Shirtliffe
Publisher: Skyhorse
Total Pages: 304
Release: 2015-11-03
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 1634509250

As a woman used to traveling and living the high life in Bangkok, Leanne Shirtliffe recognized the constant fodder for humor while pregnant with twins in Asia’s sin city. But in spite of deep-fried bug cuisine and nurses who cover newborn bassinets with plastic wrap, Shirtliffe manages to keep her babies alive for a year with help from a Coca-Cola deliveryman, several waitresses, and a bra factory. Then she and her husband return home to the isolation of North American suburbia. In Don’t Lick the Minivan, Shirtliffe captures the bizarre aspects of parenting in her edgy, honest voice. She explores the hazards of everyday life with children such as: The birthday party where neighborhood kids took home skin rashes from the second-hand face paint she applied. The time she discovered her twins carving their names into her minivan’s paint with rocks. The funeral she officiated for “Stripper Barbie.” The horror of glitter. And much more! Shirtliffe eventually realizes that even if she can’t teach her kids how to tie their shoelaces, she’s a good enough mom. At least good enough to start saving for her twins’ therapy fund. And possibly her own. Shirtliffe’s memoir might not replace a therapist, but it is a lot cheaper.

A Cat Like That

A Cat Like That
Author: Wendy Wahman
Publisher: Macmillan
Total Pages: 45
Release: 2011-06-21
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 080508942X

A cat presents the characteristics of a perfect human friend.

The Other End of the Leash

The Other End of the Leash
Author: Patricia McConnell, Ph.D.
Publisher: Ballantine Books
Total Pages: 289
Release: 2009-02-19
Genre: Pets
ISBN: 0307489183

Learn to communicate with your dog—using their language “Good reading for dog lovers and an immensely useful manual for dog owners.”—The Washington Post An Applied Animal Behaviorist and dog trainer with more than twenty years’ experience, Dr. Patricia McConnell reveals a revolutionary new perspective on our relationship with dogs—sharing insights on how “man’s best friend” might interpret our behavior, as well as essential advice on how to interact with our four-legged friends in ways that bring out the best in them. After all, humans and dogs are two entirely different species, each shaped by its individual evolutionary heritage. Quite simply, humans are primates and dogs are canids (as are wolves, coyotes, and foxes). Since we each speak a different native tongue, a lot gets lost in the translation. This marvelous guide demonstrates how even the slightest changes in our voices and in the ways we stand can help dogs understand what we want. Inside you will discover: • How you can get your dog to come when called by acting less like a primate and more like a dog • Why the advice to “get dominance” over your dog can cause problems • Why “rough and tumble primate play” can lead to trouble—and how to play with your dog in ways that are fun and keep him out of mischief • How dogs and humans share personality types—and why most dogs want to live with benevolent leaders rather than “alpha wanna-bes!” Fascinating, insightful, and compelling, The Other End of the Leash is a book that strives to help you connect with your dog in a completely new way—so as to enrich that most rewarding of relationships.

Some Pets

Some Pets
Author: Angela DiTerlizzi
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 32
Release: 2016-08-23
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 1481444026

"At the pet show, there are so many different types of pets. With dogs and cats, horses and chickens, hamsters and chinchillas--and many, many more--this book celebrates animal companions of all shapes and sizes"--

The Lick of Love

The Lick of Love
Author: Julian Clary
Publisher: Hachette UK
Total Pages: 251
Release: 2021-10-14
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
ISBN: 152941251X

From one of Britain's best-loved comedians comes this wonderfully funny, sharp and touching memoir and a celebration of the bond between man and dog - an autobidography, if you will. 'I loved The Lick of Love. It's often insightful, sometimes hilarious, frequently filthy - I'm a cat person, but if anything were ever to convince me to get a dog, it would be this' Joanne Harris '. . . wise and perceptive, and funny and moving. Each dog you meet marks a different chapter of your life and Julian writes about it so BEAUTIFULLY' Joanna Cannon 'A quirky and witty excavation of memory lane in the company of his furry canine friends' Dame Joan Collins The Lick of Love takes us on a tour of Julian's colourful life - and wherever life has taken him, Julian has had a dog by his side. Fanny the Wonder Dog, who came into Julian's life when he was somewhat adrift, propelled him up the ranks of the alternative comedy circuit and onto television. Valerie, the whippet cross-breed escorted Julian through his forties, the Germaine Greer to his Bernard Manning. Albert, a jaunty geezer type who was sent to acclimatise Julian to middle age and helped him seduce his now husband, before being joined by naughty but nice Gigi, an unpredictable fur bullet of a dog. These canine characters have been there, bearing witness, on and off stage. Whether writing about encounters in seedy London nightclubs, finding success on television with Sticky Moments, the death of his partner, that Normant Lamont joke, a narrow squeak with a thwarted eastern European plot to kidnap him, his move to the country, or finally settling down, falling in love and getting married, Julian's unique voice bounces off the page. Ultimately, The Lick of Love is the story of a fascinating life and a love letter to the dogs that have played a loving and near constant part of it. Told with humour and great honesty, this promises to be one of the best memoirs of the year. 'Whatever else is going on, it is the water bowl in the kitchen, the dog hair on my jumper, the knowing gaze from the dog in the basket beside me that comforts me and tells me that all is well.' JC

Bad Dog

Bad Dog
Author: Mike Boldt
Publisher: Doubleday Books for Young Readers
Total Pages: 40
Release: 2019-11-05
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 1984847996

The differences between cats and dogs have never been funnier! In this hilarious story from the illustrator of I Don't Want to Be a Frog, a little girl really, really wants a dog . . . but gets a cat instead! "Look what I got for my birthday! A pet dog!" says a little girl holding a . . . cat? Rocky doesn't listen or obey like all the other dogs. (Because Rocky is a cat.) And Rocky hates her leash and doesn't seem to like other dogs. (Probably because Rocky is a cat.) And rather than play fetch, Rocky prefers to . . . lick between her toes? Ew. Rocky is a bad "dog"! BUT Rocky doesn't bark, and is so cute when she sleeps in sunny spots. Maybe Rocky IS a good dog? (Or, you know, maybe Rocky is a cat.) Cat lovers and dog lovers alike will howl with laughter at this little girl's willful insistence that her cat is a dog. The hilarious ways in which cats and dogs are different are brilliantly illuminated with each turn of the page and will leave young readers and their grown-ups giggling.